So, I don't know what it is but I think I just tend to bring out the worst in people. I swear, I don't even try.
This past Thursday, the 20th of March, I went in and observed my first tutoring session. Tutors didn't seem all that friendly, in fact they seemed indifferent to my being there (not that I was expecting a big welcome but at least polite greeting would have been nice). Putting what little professionalism was exhibited by the tutors aside, I was set up with a tutor and one of his regular tutees who was revising an essay for a scholarship. The tutor did alright, he encouraged the student's train of thought and suggested ideas when the writer seemed to be at a loss for words. "Not working for me", "I'm not getting it here", and "cause and effect" were popular phrases used by the tutor during the session. I assumed that because they had worked together in the past, the student understood that the tutor was being helpful instead of antagonistic, like I kind of took it to be. All in all, the student seemed happy with the progress and felt confident enough after just half an hour. Once the student had left, the tutor praised him and asked if I had any questions. I didn't, so we went our separate ways.
It was definitely different from the way I hold my sessions. I utilize the entire time I have with a student because there is always something for us to work on. I wouldn't say I'm a "cheerleader" but I take into consideration the fact that regardless of age, no one likes to be told that their work isn't good enough. I tend to be cautious with what I say around them because I'm actually pretty sensitive to criticism, regardless of how packed with good intention it might be.
But yeah.
I agree with you on being hyper- sensitive. Even if we have seen someone in the past shouldn't we consider that today may be this person is feeling that the world is on his or her shoulders? This truth applies to all human beings but isn't it even more likely to be the case when we are living so close to the poverty level as the majority of La Guardians are today? A little heart goes a long way and you don't have to be "Cheerleading" to be perceptive (McAndrew & Reigstad, 2001). I enjoyed reading your summary. Thank you.
ReplyDeleteThank you for reading, I'm glad you enjoyed :)
DeleteI'm also sensitive to criticism. I think everyone is to some extent with their writing because it's personal, it's your thoughts on the page. So people take it personally.
ReplyDeleteI also try really hard to take criticism well because I want to be a better writer and so often the feedback I get is "this is nice" which is not helpful at all. It's odd because sometimes, I want negative feedback more than positive. I feel like it's more helpful and more honest.
But not everyone feels that way, and so this is going to be a thing I have to keep in mind. So far in my tutoring sessions for API I've been making an effort to be polite and friendly (I'm from Jersey so that doesn't come naturally). I haven't said anything like you describe from this tutor but "I'm not getting it here" and "this isn't working for me" don't seem terribly confrontational to me. I can see myself saying those things and inadvertently offending someone.
I've done a lot of corporate training, and I'm doing a little bit of English tutoring right now, and so far no one has ever had a problem with my demeanor. No complaints anyway. But when I get more comfortable with someone I can be less thoughtful about my language, so this is something I know I have to keep in mind when I tutor or teach.
Eh, I feel like it's more of the way he said it than what he actually said.
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